A Gift to Greater America: The Anthem You Didn’t Know You Needed

An Ode to the Land of Bacon, Blockbusters, and Boundless Dreams

By an Amused, Adoring Friend Across the Pond

In the land of boundless ambition, where burgers are super-sized, spandex is stretched, and intergalactic conspiracies unfold nightly on Netflix, the American dream barrels forward. This is a land where heroes leap from the silver screen, every lawn is a patriotic spectacle, and reality, well… reality might just be America’s most underrated export.

And now, as a new era dawns upon this truly “Greater America,” we thought it only fitting to offer a tribute to the larger-than-life spirit that guides it. So, here’s an anthem for you, dear America — crafted with care, wit, and a dash of bewildered affection from your friends across the pond. Think of it as our gift to honor a land that’s half theme park, half Hollywood script, and somehow, against all odds, entirely lovable. So grab a burger, throw on a cape, and prepare to sing along.

This one’s for you, America. The Anthem of Greater America.

Verse 1
Oh, hail to thee, land of the brave and the free,
Where dreams are supersized and come with fries,
Where every SUV’s a tank, and every lawn’s a sea
Of plastic flamingos beneath endless skies.
With ketchup as a veggie, and bacon as a side,
In our drive-through temples, we take great pride.

Chorus
Greater America, beacon of light,
Where the heroes are larger, their spandex tight,
From Hollywood hills to that vast, dusty plain,
We make greatness a brand, and reality a strain.
With aliens to chase and conspiracies to unfold,
And a plot twist a minute, our stories are told.

Verse 2
Oh, land of freedom, where bigger is best,
Where we worship the gods of Wi-Fi and cheese,
We’ll fight for the right to drive fully dressed
In pajamas through Starbucks with unfettered ease.
With Hollywood’s heroes our daily bread,
We battle our waistlines and onward we’re led.

Chorus
Greater America, bold and true,
Where the flag waves high and our popcorn, too,
In quest of a galaxy far, far away,
While bacon grease fuels our glorious fray.
We gaze at the stars, we dream and we scheme,
For greatness here is a reality stream.

Bridge
Oh, hail the new era, with visions grand,
A leader who tweets with an unsteady hand.
In alien sagas and sci-fi’s embrace,
We may yet leave Earth without a trace.
For who needs reality’s tedious bore,
When fantasy waits just beyond the next door?

Final Chorus
Greater America, land of the free,
Where every hero’s meant to be me,
With diets in shambles and portions extreme,
We’ll live out our days in a Hollywood dream.
Raise a salute, from the couch, to the sky,
For Greater America will never say die.